Links: Amazon • Goodreads
Publication Date: March 10, 2015
Source: ARC via Netgalley
Her bosom heaved at an alarming rate as his rough hand found its way down to her soft, yet wiry briar patch…
Can you say briar patch in a romance novel? What about meat sword? That’s what it is…a meat sword, right, all meaty and sword like, slaying through the inner dungeons of a woman’s dark desires. What about breasts? Do bosoms really heave?
God, I have no idea what happens when private parts touch.
I’m a virgin trying to write a romance novel and can’t seem to write past a sex scene thanks to my lack of experience.
My two best friends encourage me to drop the pen for a while and gain some real life practice through multiple dating facets such as blind dates, online profiles, and random hookups.
But losing my virginity is proving to be tougher than expected…
Rosie Bloom loves to escape in a good romance novel. She’d love even more to write them. But she’s unable to even utter the word “sex” (she prefers “friskiness”), and she’s recently found out from her roommates that “briar patch,” “pleasure garden,” and “lady folds” are not good euphemisms. Consequently, Rosie’s finding that her virgin status might be impeding her future career. With help from her two best friends, Henry and Delaney, Rosie sets off on a whirlwind dating tour, trying whatever she can to gain some experience. She goes on date after date with co-workers, dating site matches, friends of friends, and even random strangers – each one ending worse than the last. Her hilarious, cringe-worthy dates are bad enough that any sane person would give up… but not Rosie.
The Virgin Romance Novelist has to be the most hilarious book I’ve read this year. From the first page, the easy writing style and witty dialogue won me over. I laughed so hard that I woke my boyfriend up. I may have even woken the neighbors up. I wouldn’t be surprised – that’s how funny this book is. But it’s not just funny. It’s also heartwarming. And a little angsty. Very embarrassing. And romantic. Not to mention sexy. It’s a little bit of everything, really. But mostly funny.
Throughout the book, I knew exactly how it was going to end, but getting there was a great ride. I was rooting for her love interest all along, and I’m so happy that she ended up with him. I know this is a standalone, but I would not hesitate to read another book about Rosie.
Even though it’s only March, I have no doubt that The Virgin Romance Novelist will be one of my favorites this year.
For my 2015 reading challenge, I’m crossing off #8: a funny book.